I'll bet most of you responded, breasts, boobs, tits, sweater-meat, fun bags, airbags, bazookas, boobies, bosoms, cans, cantaloupes, chesticles, coconuts, gazongas, headlights, honkers, jugs, knockers, melons, tatas, titties, torpedoes or Winnebagos.
Yeah, but did you notice she's wearing Vans checkerboard slipons?!?
Come on, you know that's fuckin' awesome! How many pornstars will rock a pair of Vans on a photo shoot? We commend pornstar Abella Anderson for putting first things, first!
What the Fuck Mtv
Every now and then I stumble across Mtv when flipping through the channels and each time it pisses me off.
I still remember getting cable in the early 80's around the time of Mtv's launch. It was so fucking cool to suddenly be "watching" your favorite music. "I want my Mtv" was the rally cry and Nina Blackwood, Mark Goodman, Alan Hunter, J.J. Jackson and Martha Quinn kept shit in rotation. Martha was mad hot!
long ago Mtv dropped the 'M' along with the music! SHITtv if you ask me. Every time I flip to Mtv they're running some idiotic pre-teen reality show. That channel has been complete crap for well over a decade! Play music, you fuckers!
Take a turkey sandwich to the skate park!
T-Mobile Girl Carly Foulkes: Huge Improvement Over Cathy ZJ
Let's face it Cathy hasn't had the same appeal since she was riding Zorro on the big screen in the late 90's, although I'm sure Mikey D enjoys her relative youth. Cathy might spur your mom into buying a cell phone, but holdouts like myself were waiting for a really compelling reason to upgrade.
T-Mobile Girl Carly Foulkes is the reason we were waiting for. Actually I'm really waiting for Verizon to stop being fucking pussies and get the iPhone on a sku.
None of this ha any bearing on skateboarding, but if I need pizza delivered to the local skate park, I'll feel better about it knowing that T-Mobile has upgraded the beauty of their spokesmodel.
Building a Proper Stairway - with Skateboards
Kids seem to fall into very narrow categories when it comes to integrating skating in their lives. Many die-hard skate rats live to skate and roll hard every day. As they age the need for money becomes more prominent... and necessary.
Most of them will not become pro skaters, so the next logical jump they make is to work in a skate shop. There's nothing wrong with that, but the creative freedom that makes skateboarding amazing should induce a few more ways in which to integrate skating and a career (or at least a way to make a living).
People have been making chairs and other furniture out of skate decks for quite a while. if you can ollie a set of stairs, it seems logical to make a stairs out of skate decks. Skateboarding can be a part of your life in many different ways. The more you think about it the more likely you'll be to devise the next integration of skateboarding into the world at large.
Yes, We "Like" Them
Some advertisements just beg to be fucked with. This one cried out for some PhotoShop defacing.
I Hate Microsoft
It's not just that Windows always fails on my work PC or that Microsoft has this odd obsession with ruling the world. They just don't seem to fit in or play well with others. Now Microsoft is moving in across the way from an Apple Store in a mall.
Opening on October 14, 1971, i became obsessed with it until discovering it closed on September 5, 1994. I hadn't returned to Disney World until a business trip took me there in 2000. It was sad to see the vacant pool where my Jules Verne fantasy came to life. It has since been demolished and replaced with Pooh's Playful Spot. Fucking bear!
Google celebrates by putting up one of it's alternate logos in honor of Fred & family turning 50.
Here are a few pieces of trivia from over the years in Bedrock.
The Flintstones was originally aimed at an adult audience and the first two seasons were co-sponsored by Winston cigarettes. But by the third season it was being written for children and was sponsored by Welch's, who produced grape juice and jellies.
The show's famous theme tune, "Meet The Flintstones", was not used until the third series. The musical theme for the first two seasons was called "Rise and Shine".
Fred and Wilma Flintstone were the first couple to be shown in bed together on prime-time television when the show first aired on ABC between 1960 and 1966.
Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble fronted a TV advertising campaign for Wintston cigarettes - a move that would be unthinkable for children's television characters today.
Many critics believe that the show was a Stone Age parody of the 1950s US TV sitcom, The Honeymooners, which featured two newlywed couples living in New York. One of the show's creators, William Hanna, once confirmed the rumour, but his co-creator Joseph Barbera maintained that it was a myth.
William Hanna, the co-creator of The Flintstones, also produced the hit children's TV shows Tom and Jerry, Scooby Doo and Yo Yogi.
The Flintstones held the coveted title of the longest-running prime-time TV cartoon before The Simpsons took on the mantel.
The 1959 unaired pilot episode was called "The Flagstones". "The Gladstones" was also mooted before The Flintstones was finally decided on.
The series was set in the town of Bedrock, although in some early episodes it was referred to as Rockville.
The furniture in the Flintstones' house changed in almost every episode.
The family's barking pet dinosaur, Dino, changed colours throughout the programme. Its main colour was purple.
The cartoon was originally aired in black and white.
The Flintstones was home to several major-league sports teams. The Bedrock Giants, Bedrock Dodgers and the Green Bay Pachyderms all appeared on the show.
Several popular celebrities took residence in the showbiz quarter of Bedrock - Hollyrock.Cary Granite, Alvin Brickrock and Stony Curtis were the biggest stars. Mick Jadestone and the Rolling Boulders were Fred and Barney's favourite band.
There are several Flintstones theme parks in the US, including Flintstones Bedrock City in South Dakota and Flintstones Bedrock Town in Arizona.
Barbie: Your Slutty Skate Video Intern
I love skate videos! The only thing better than watching skate vids is doing it yourself. Cameras are inexpensive and video editing software can be found on the cheap as well. The only problem is owning such equipment doesn't make you the next Spielberg or Stacy Peralta.
Don't worry - Mattel toys has your back on this one. They've combined camera, software and director into Barbie. She's your new skate film intern and ready to document your attempts at a 900 on your buddy's mini. Go for it - Barbie will catch all the action with her breast-cam and play it back on her backside LCD display!
The Amazing Race to the Stonehenge Exit Ramp
I've never seen Stonehenge firsthand nor have I been to the UK. I have however seen it a zillion times on the History Channel and various documentaries. Or so I thought...
I always had the impression that it laid on a grassy bluff far from the hustle and bustle of modern life. It seemed to rest majestically for those daring enough to venture out to find its site.
Then I saw those twits from the Amazing Race TV show fly from Boston to the UK in search of their first destination - Stonehenge.
After the contestants realized that the steering wheel really is on the right side, they delved into maps looking for the Stonehenge exit. WAIT!
The what!?! Yes, the exit off the highway for Stonehenge!
Every picture you've ever seen of fucking Stonehenge is just like a bad travel brochure. It looks beautiful and picturesque until you arrive at the "resort" and wonder how the hell they managed to get that one angle that made the place look like a resort, not an hourly dive. Welcome to Stonehenge. I'm sure when this Amazing Race episode is re-run, I'll notice the t-shirt stand and the "Eat at Al's" billboard that wasn't entirely edited out in post.
With cameras o'plenty both on the ground and in the air, The Amazing Race producers treated us to views of the highway that delivers tourists to the site as well as the large parking lot they use as they peer at it... from behind a fence.
Funny how those documentary filmers don't pan over to show their large cargo van, full of equipment, parked 10 feet from the camera's tripod. Then there's the mystical music they always overlay as they display video of the mighty majesty of Stonehenge. Little did we know they remove the original audio so we don't hear cars racing by honking their horns.
Panning out a little further we see that the modern world, of UK commuters, drive past Stonehenge regularly and must find it as annoying as Orlando residents find Cinderella's Castle at Disney World. "Been there done that."
I guess it shouldn't surprise me that arial views of Stonehenge could be mistaken for a drive-thru or that film makers try to perpetuate the mysticism of the site, but that doesn't excuse NYC residents who've never seen the Statue of Liberty!
Skate Films Need Better Locations
Its always exciting to see a new spot in a skate vid or film. The problem is some spots are fugly as all hell. These janky, wrong-side-of-the-tracks locations need to go. I guess filming ops on Rodeo Drive are difficult at best, but even the porn industry understands the idea of location, location, location.
Nikita Needs A Skateboard
The original La Femme Nikita is an amazing flick that's been paid homage in a number of forms from the Bridget Fonda movie re-make to the USA Network series with Peta Wilson.
Maggie Q now comes along to fill the shoes of Nikita in yet another TV series on the CW network.
She kicks ass and has the big guns, but lets face it - this chick need a fuckin' skatebaord. She needs to amp up her aggression and crack one of those Division dudes over the head with a hefty 9.5" wide old-school deck.
I see her skating through the hood and coming up from a rad power slide, busting open a skull with her deck.
Just a thought...
Rob Dyrdek Makes Shit Happen!
Rob Dyrdek is good for skateboarding.
The world needs more people who can bring dreams to reality. Lots of people have good ideas, but so few have any clue how to make them happen. Rob doesn't just do this for himself. He seems to have this gift for making shit happen. Every time I read something about him, I wonder how the Hell he pulled it off. His latest achievement is Street League on ESPN2.
Dyrdek knows how to plan, create and execute his ideas in ways that go big and blow the roof off shit. He doesn't think small and always gets the maximum return for his efforts. He's an incredible role model - without even trying to be one - and should be an inspiration to any kid riding a skateboard who wonders what he/she will be able to achieve in life. You can do anything if you try.
The world needs more people like Rob Dyrdek!
Never Underestimate (Skateboard) Product Placement
Those times you see specific brands on TV shows is no accident. Deals are frequently made with movie and TV studios to promote products by having them appear as props. Next time you see a character wearing a "Verizon" t-shirt or using a "Dyson" vacuum, it's likely paid placement by the brand or company itself. These things are not accidents or quirks - they're paid for.
Skateboard companies probably can't afford such paid placement, but that doesn't mean there aren't skaters affiliated with movies and TV that can't sneak a few skate props onto theset. Right?
I wonder how much Steve Jobs shelled out to get his beloved Macintosh products on these alluring porno sets. I'm sure it's testament to their design ingenuity and proliferation of use and market penetration. Everyone uses Macs!
Don't send me any emails. We kid. No, Apple did not likely sanction these devices to appear on the spunk-set.
Why doesn't the skateboard industry get into this. No, not putting skate products in porn films (although we like the idea), but getting their products staged as props in movies and TV? There was always a Mac in the corner of Jerry's apartment on Seinfeld. So why not have some skateboard product on the Big Bang Theory set or on the set of NCIS?
Skaters are everywhere - strong in number. Some of you with the access to stage sets need to step up your game and flaunt some skate product for the cameras. Nothing sells product like placement on a hip show or movie. Get to it Hollywood skate rats and drop some product on set. Do right by skateboarding!!
The X-Games With Tits!
Who doesn't love a good head-to-head battle, competition, or fight to the death? The half-pipe at the X-Games always gets me pumped. Every run forces the skaters to go the extra distance and throw down harder than their previous run.
What if the adult industry followed suit?
Twisty's Treat of the Year
Wonder no longer. Adult porn site, Twistys is holding their Treat of the Year contest putting their best talent head-to-head and tit-to-tit for a topless competition of curves and depravity. Yay!
Just as Andy MacDonald steps up to beat out PLG on the half pipe, Kayden Kross will be pushing out her chest to defeat Heather Vandeven on the mattress. In Twistys competition landing flat on your back is the best way to win it!
You have to be a paying member of Twistys web site in order to vote - which kind of sucks - or you can see the results in our Head-2-Head Pornstar Competition article. I'm always down for a skate comp, but I like to see the same gusto in the porn industry.
Yes, some porn stars - like Ariel Rebel, are down with skateboarding!
I'm Picking Out a Thermos For You
Being old enough to have seen Steve Martin sing "I'm picking out a Thermos for you" in 1979's The Jerk must have made an impression on me.
Every year when the Summer came to a close and it was time to buy school supplies, the first thing on my list was a new Peanut's lunchbox with thermos. Those were the days. Hell, lunch boxes today rarely come with a thermos. As a kid I just knew that a thermos kept my juice cold all day; end of story.
I had no idea Thermos was a brand.
Like any ubiquitous brand, it's name has become a noun. However, not every thermos is a Thermos®. As a discerning adult, I know that Thermos® brand is a cut above the garden-variety thermos.
My coffee mug had reached a point where cleaning it was a waste of time. It had become a rusted piece of junk (the inside was fairly clean). All the travel mugs I saw were plastic and looked like they'd fall apart in a week. Then I found a Thermos brand travel mug and the brand came back to memory.
"Fuck yeah! Get a Thermos brand mug!"
Long story short I bought another style of Thermos mug, a food container and a classic "thermos" Thermos. I can't say enough good things about the Thermos brand. High quality, durable and highly functional! Go get one (or two). You'll thank me later.
Straight from the shaping room of Santa Cruz surfboards. This high performance twin fin has evolved to rip on land!
Flat Landshark Cruzer concave
8.8" x 27.5"
4.3" kick tail
What's not to like? This little board fucking rips!
Bundle up Wookiee-Style to Skate on Planet Hoth
If your passion for skateboarding takes yo to locales with sub-zero weather, I can't think of a more stylish way to keep the heat than a fury-as-all-hell Chewbacca coat!
For Star Wars geeks and Sci-fi nuts who need to survive cold climates, like George Lucas' planet, Hoth, Ya gotta have a Wookie Jacket from Adidas! Am I right? fuck yeah!
I have not found any ordering info anywhere, so I suspect this hairy coat is due for release sometime this Fall. There is some Star Wars stuff on the Adidas site, but no mention of Wookiee jackets. Keep an eye out for it because they'll go fast and are likely in limited production. The cool stuff always is.
Always eager to learn random useless facts... I now know that "Wookiee" is spelled with two 'E's.Live & learn and may the force be with you... in your quest for fashion.
9/1/10 update: The Wookiee coat has shown up on the Adidas web site and is listed as the "Star Wars Manager's Coat". Use "star wars" as a keyword in their search and you'll find it. Here's a rear-view of the Chewbacca Wookiee coat
Paddle Boarding Takes off On Water and Wheels
The first time I saw someone paddle boarding on our local pond, I assumed it was a malfunctioning sunfish sailboat whose owner was trying to reach shore. It never occured to me that standing on a surfboard with a paddle could be sold as a "board sport". Guess I was wrong.
I suppose I'd rather fall off a board into the water than onto concrete, but then there's my phobia of drowning which doesn't happen on concrete.
Finding Chuck Norris is Tougher Than Finding Animal Chin
The popularity of Chuck Norris Facts has prompted all sorts of "me-too" alterations by folks large and small to be part of the Chuck Norris post-career phenomenon. For skaters who have sought to find Animal Chin, the search for Chuck Norris may prove more elusive. You might try Google, but even the overlords there don't mess with chuck.
Give it a try yourself at google.com - enter "Find Chuck Norris" in the search box and click "I'm Feeling Lucky".
Mastering Cell Phone Photography
With everyone hurrying out to buy a new smart phone that does everything except make a fucking phone call, we thought we'd offer a brief primer on how to properly use your camera phone.
Dita Von Teese Redefines Hydration & Pisses-off Tree Huggers
You've got a cooler full of beer, but when skating a pool out in the hot sun you have to have water. The buzz is good, but dehydration can knock you on your ass on a sweltering day. Best solution is to keep the water flowing. But water isn't a cool or sexy beverage. It holds little appeal for the most part.
I'm no fan of bottled water myself, especially when it can be obtained for free from a garden hose which is where most of it probably comes from anyway. The watery folks at Perrier seem to have a similar quandary- "How do we sex-up our boring-ass water?"
The answer seems to be finding a sexy burlesque model to bath in the stuff. Enter Dita Von Teese.
Apparently the tree-hugging crowd calls this display a waste of a natural resource and so forth. They fail to see the value of Ms. Von Teese dousing herself in Perrier. Perhaps this lack of foresight is why their brand needs a make-over in the first place. However you look at it, Marilyn Manson's ex looks pretty good on the website featuring Dita's watery Perrier antics.
I guess they figure the kiddies don't drink their fizzy water so why not trump the brand with some softcore porn. If this campaign fails they can always re-tool the footage and have Ms. Von Teese use the bottle like a dildo. That should boost sales, right? Or get the marketing VP at Perrier fired!
Skatelite- Not Just for Skate Ramps
When I hear Skatelite I think of an awesomely durable outer layer that protects skateboard ramps. "Skatelite blends the right elements of speed, friction, durability and pliability in a premium surface material preferred by the world's top action sports athletes." according to their website.
I'm convinced that someone at Dwell magazine is a skater who takes a sly joy in weaving elements of skateboarding into a seemingly skate-free home mag. Articles with a skateboard slant show up on their pages way too often to be mere coincidence.
I started reading Teaser Trailer, in the July/August issue of Dwell Magazine, about shabby construction trailers that lacked the finesse of the construction projects they shared job sites with. Those typically crappy looking job site trailers just weren't cutting it so a builder had this custom trailer made and encased the outside in Skatelite for durability and a sleek black look.
Seems to me that some sort of ramp should have been incorporated in the design, but I guess that didn't fit in with the chairs from herman Miller.
Inside the trailer. You were expecting fake wood paneling and a rug with full on 70's colors covered in grit. Pretty damn slick for a construction trailer.
Eat Twizzlers Like a Pornstar
If your sugar-rush includes Twizzlers, you should know that there's no reason to be boring about it. Just because the original manufacturer, Young and Smylie confectionery, was founded way back in 1845 doesn't mean you have to do it old-School.
Ride A Skateboard - Don't End Up Like Lindsay Lohan
Some celebrities just can't catch a break. Take for instance Lindsay Lohan who had a promising career as a child-actor and did what many of them do - fuck up. It's not enough to make a ton of money and live a life of fame. These twits (or twats, as the case may be) have to self-destruct in the public eye.
Lohan, who ruined Herbie the Love Bug as Maggie Peyton, will get a swanky prison jumpsuit and the scorn of prisoners and guards for 90 days. Maybe if she'd had a skateboard during her formative years, she wouldn't be all the things that skaters are accused of - you know: loser, junkie, deviant, etc...
Buy your kid a skateboard - it'll keep him/her out of trouble and help in the global fight of all parents: Don't end up like Lindsay Lohan.
Happy Fourth of July!
Roman Candles often shoot out of both ends.
Emergency Rooms are very busy on holidays.
Skater Mike V Goes From Street to Ice - Again
40-year old Mike Vallely is expanding his horizons as a pro skater and taking it from 4 wheels to 2 blades. He's been on the ice many times before, but this time seems more official.
Apparently he's joined the Danbury Whalers hockey team who play in the Federal Hockey League. I don't know shit about hockey, but Mike is an interesting and determined guy. One way or another he'll come out on top. This is a guy who can sesh a curb all day and make you jealous you weren't there. He is hella creative.
As far as skating goes, I much prefer to see him tearing shit up on 4 wheels. I played Blades of Steel on NES, but that's the extent of my interest in Hockey (or any team-sport for that matter).
Mike Vallely (pronounced VAL-LA-LEE) has one of the most mis-pronounced names in sports history. It's come to the point where his last name is often followed by a phonetic guide to it's pronunciation.
John Isner Wins Historic Match At Wimbledon
If you think tennis is for pussies, try skating a pool in the hot sun for 11 hours and 5 minutes. That's the length of the now-historic match between Isner & Mahut at Wimbledon. Without tie-breakers in the 5th set, the final score was 70-68. That's a shitload of tennis. You have to have insane endurance to do that over 3 days, breaking all records for length of match, games played, and aces served.
Grab your skate and get out there. Today is the day we take for ourselves and bask in the hideous joy of skateboarding. Every June 21st the world has come to an understanding that skaters will not be present for work, school or any form of responsibility. This is your day. Take it and go tear shit up for all the 4-wheeled glory you can muster.
Today is the longest day of the year and you should spend all of it skateboarding. You can catch up on all that responsibility BS tomorrow!
Get out and skate - NO EXCUSES!!
History Channel's Dismal Apocalypse Needs a Thong
The History Channel has spent a significant amount of time trying to convince us that the world will end in December 2012 or maybe later in a fiery collapse. They allege it was foretold by a variety of prophets and such dating back hundreds of years. Whether it's a coming ice age or the collapse of the universe in general, they offer pretty scary view of what might come to be.
How come they can't come up with a more positive viewpoint like the one displayed by adult model, Penny Mathias? This is a post-apocalypse I can live with... I think.
It's the end of the world as we know it.... Hey, who's making thongs in the post-apocalyptic world in which only the strong survive?
Skater Socks are Everywhere
Skater Socks opened in May of 2003 with the vision of having the sickest line of striped tube socks on the market. You remember these from the 70's and they're back again and popping up all over. Jump back to the 70's and rock these absorbent stink-proof socks.
Pornstars Charlie Laine and Annie Cruz demonstrate the varied utility of Skater Socks.
Will Tax Payers Fund YOUR Next Skate Film?
An interesting story on the front page of the New York Times talked about state governments putting up tax-payer funds for movies that portrayed their state in a favorable way. They suggested it might inspire tourism to states prominently featured in films. I'm sure most tax payers have no clue that their hard earned money is funding straight-to-DVD movies with prominent locales. But then I started thinking...
With the high cost and poor consumer response to skateboard DVDs (thanks, fucking YouTube), can skate companies find similar deals? Maybe the next Element vid is funded by Rhode Island for the footy shot in Newport. Would Michigan pay for a Flip tour due to the positive spin they put on the Motor City?
The possibilities seem endless, if one is crafty enough to figure out a way to get someone else to pay! Doesn't even have to be a full-scale skate company to work. If you have the skills to make a good skate film, find a way to approach the local governments of the locations you film in. You might just find the funding you need to produce and distribute your film!! Go for it!
Newbury Comics Last Day in Hyannis
OK, it's not the last day Newbury Comics will be located on Cape Cod... but it is their last day in this location. They are moving into the Cape Cod Mall.
In their former strip-mall location, they stood out as the only cool store in the plaza. Wedged between Toys R Us and Home Goods, with a Verizon store nearby, folks who ventured in knew what Newbury Comics was and sought their unique array of cool shit.
Before living here, I made regular pit-stops there whenever I was close by. There's really nothing quite like Newbury Comics and I loved shopping there. From Music, DVDs and video games to insanely cool chotchkes and used media - they fucking rocked! This location in particular brought a unique product line and convenience to Cape Cod.
My fear in their move to the Mall is similar to many stores that try to succeed in malls... Malls have become hangouts for delinquents who have nowhere else to go. Shoplifting rises, consumers go elsewhere and what seemed like a larger customer-base turns out to be populated with window shoppers, vagrants and the curious. In their plaza location, most who entered knew about them and came to them specifically. The mall attracts way too many random people.
I wish them the best of luck and hope they succeed. I'm not excited about having to shop at fucking Best Buy if Newbury Comics leaves Cape Cod!
Every time I see a Friendly's commercial I want to go there. Not many places have the food & ice cream thing going full swing. And I used to eat there all the time when I was a kid, so it's pretty cool to go back and still be able to chug down a Fribble or order up a blue soda! So I took the family there...
But there's always a catch to things that seem too good to be true.
The one thing I always forget is how SLOW their service is. You can get a drink and ice cream quite quickly, but once you order anything hot/cooked, you can expect to wait a minimum of 30 minutes for your food to arrive at the table. I've eaten at many different Friendly's Restaurants and the service is always the same - SLOW. All the tables around us had the same grumbling complaint: Hurry UP!
It drives me crazy because they have such a good thing going. Why can't their kitchen figure out what's trickled down to most other restaurants; quick service.
I love Friendly's. No, Really. I do. It's been a part of my life since childhood, but I have a new rule when I dine there.
I only do take-out and it's nothing but Ice cream and drinks. Sitting at a table for a burger is like watching grass grow. Sorry Friendly's, but you gotta do better on the service.
Dear Fail Whale, Please Fuck Off
Twitter seems to be again undergoing some growing pains as users constantly get the "Fail Whale" image when the service is too busy. It's pretty damn annoying! I suppose one can't complain since its a free service with no revenue model... but I'm going to complain anyway. That's how we roll over here. We bitch about anything that annoys us.
An Unexpected SurpriseAriel Rebel is following us on Twitter!
Ariel Rebel's Signature Skateboard
Canada's "darling of amateur porn", Ariel Rebel, is making a valiant effort to merge nudity and skateboarding. We're all for it and she's off to a good start. Her initial boards had somewhat traditional graphics featuring her name emblazoned across the deck. Wisely Ms. Rebel knows what sells in a graphic - her form!
Her latest boards feature her topless, smiling and bent at the waist, which makes for a very compelling marketing campaign. A few skateboard companies have tried to merge porn onto skateboard graphics, but have run into the "mainstream" problem. Parent's aren't going to buy skateboards for their kids when the graphics feature half-naked chicks. Ms. Rebel has the advantage of already being associated with the adult biz and can likely generate a lot of interest through her fans and word-of-mouth.
However, skaters are a demanding and discerning bunch, so it's logical to ask if anyone is actually riding Ariel Rebel... boards? It would seem the answer is Yes, but we suspect more people are likely to hang them up in the name of art.
Check out a few of our favorite pics of Ariel Rebel and go ask your local skate shop why they don't have Ariel Rebel's deck on their wall!
Check out her official sites: arielrebel.com and arielrebelunplugged.com.
We had to tack on this tidbit...
Just when you thought the internet was a massive void into which things become entangled and lost...
Apparently Ms. Rebel saw our post and responded. We didn't send our post directly to her- she found us! That is nothing short of remarkable and a great testament to how well she uses social media to keep in touch with fans and promote herself. We're very impressed with her - both mind & body!
Polaroid Goes Instant Again
Polaroid was cool because you got an instant picture seconds after taking the shot. But technology out-paced and out-priced them some time ago. You may recall the iZone camera that printed a sticker of the photo you took. That seemed like Polaroid's last ditch attempt at maintaining their instant photo product.
Digital cameras are priced similarly and can take hundreds of shitty photos that can be deleted from the camera. Imagine paying for film and then have shitty pics pop out. Fuck that! Digital simplifies photography for the common idiot. Sure, pro photographers will always have high-end needs, but consumers are dumb and will buy anything that looks cool.
Speaking of which, I love the look of thePolaroid 300. It creates a fun new look for an old idea. I'd love to buy one just for the form. If this were a digital cam, I'd buy one in a heartbeat. The problem for me is why buy a camera that takes ~2" x 2.5" pictures for ~ $1 a pop? And what the fuck do I do with a pic that small?
I love it's creative design, but the Polaroid 300 is way out of my price range when it costs $1.00 per photo. After taking 100 photos, I could have spent that money on a digital camera. I grew up in the age of Polaroid and I loved their instant photo products. Maybe old technology can fight back and win some market share. I love to ride 10" decks when all the kids are scrambling for a 7" popsicle stick board. Who knows. I'm retro as fuck and I hope Polaroid sticks around.
May the Fourth Be With You on Star Wars Day
You may be thinking that the original Star Wars film was released on this day in 1977 making Star Wars Day a fairly cool concept. Alas the film was release on May 25 1977 and the connection to Star Wars Day get even worse.
Like being trapped at a bad sci-fi convention where hoards of nerds are racing about yelling "May the force be with you", the connection to May 4 is simply that FOURTH and FORCE sound similar if you lack diction and are chewing gum. As the film was released in May, we are stuck with this atrocity of a pun for a holiday.
I'm a huge fan of Star Wars, having seen all the films at their original release. I even like Clone Wars. George Lucas is a bit of a nutjob, but I dig the Star Wars series of films. I think it would be far more appropriate to have a Star Wars Day on the 25th to commemorate the original film being released on May 25, 1977. Oh well. What can you do?
Chatham, MA Skatepark in Local News
It's not every day that a small skatepark way off the beatenpath gets a front page photo in the paper. OK, it's the local Cape Cod Chronicle - not exactly the New York Times. But, what the Hell - we'll take it!
The Chatham, Ma Skatepark is indeed next to the Chatham Airport where nothing larger than a Cessna dare land. There isn't even a control tower - just get on your radio and yell, "Look out" as you descend.
Although our park got an upgrade in Oct. 2006, the ARC Ramps they installed don't hold up in New England winters and could use another upgrade. Cement would have been much preferable to metal ramps. Maybe next time...
Earth Day Weed Killer Tip
I'm not really into the whole Earth Day thing - even though it's nearly as old as I am. However, having watched all the "end of the world" programing on History Channel, it seems a good idea to be a little bit green from time to time.
Every Spring the TV ads for weed killer infect the airwaves. I don't give a crap about my lawn as long as it's mowed. And I sure as hell don't wanter it's expanse with a vat of weed killer. What's in that shit that it only targets" weeds and not grass? Who knows, but it doesn't seem like a good idea to have all those chemicals seep into my well. I have a lot of neighbors who obsess over their lawn. Fucking ridiculous. Go skate - fuckthe lawn!
My pet peeve is when grass and shit grows in the cracks on my stone patio. I don't mind mowing the lawn, but mowing the patio is just plain sad. Not being wild about chemical weed killers - or their excessive cost - I wanted to find an green and economical way to send a "fuck off" alert to the weeds growing on the patio.
"Green" Weed Killer Tip
The answer is Distilled White Vinegar. You can get a half gallon jug for $2 and weeds (and most plant life) don't like it at all. I mix a 50/50 solution of White Vinegar and water and pour it into a spray bottle. I squirt it into the cracks and also douse whatever growth I find. I do this once a day for 2 days and the lush green crap turns yellow in 1 or 2 days and is way dead a few days later. It doesn't have the permanence of chemical weed killer, but it lasts for weeks, it's cheap and doesn't contain chemicals.
Since I'm trying to kill anything that grows in the cracks of my patio, I don't mind killing everything. Don't do this on your lawn or near plants as it will kill everything.
So, this is my contribution to Earth Day. Now go skate before the Earth implodes!
SK8Mafia's Asa Akira Pornstar Deck
Several companies have dabbled with the idea of "adult themed" skateboard graphics. Some have put pornstars on the boards and others have gone the route of raunch. What has not really happened - until now - is a global distribution of such smutty skateboards. Most of the "adult" oriented decks on the market are limited distribution and don't show up on retail shelves outside the local area.
Sk8Mafia have released an Asa Akira skateboard deck featuring up and coming pornstar Asa Akira. The photography featured on the high-end deck was supplied by director Van Styles, who was also instrumental in setting up Akira's deal with the company.
Pay the Tax Man!
The final day is here to get those tax forms postmarked and on their way.
If you don't - that will force wealthy citizens to suddenly have to pay for all the government initiatives designed to ruin the middle and lower classes. And if things really got bad (like we had to start another war instead of providing healthcare and resolving the recession) businesses might have to pay taxes and Congressmen might not get their usual kickbacks.
It just starts a whole slew of problems for people who have too much money and want to hoard it at the expense of everything around them. So, go pay your taxes and hope your government doesn't take away your house.
You can ride a skateboard, but you can't live in one.
Recession Proof Careers... In Porn
In tough economic times as these one might be tempted to spend money on one of these moronic books that professes to solve all your problems, for one specific topic, within 150 pages or so. If you're smart, you'll just flip through it at the bookstore. Anyway...
This Recession-Proof Careers book came to my attention when I discovered they were advocating careers in the adult industry - Porn. I'm all for the survival and expansion of pornography, but to advocate being a pornstar in a book like this really speaks to the desperate times we're in. The recession is not the a problem for just the lower class or only those who are unemployed. It has effected millions of people directly and/or indirectly. Good hard working people have suffered the wrath of bad Government decisions, lax scrutiny of banking policy and corporate greed.
To suggest we all "whip it out" in front of their webcam or go all the way and become an anything-goes pornstar in order to survive the recession says a lot. I'd love to be living the rich-life, but if the American dream has come to staring in "Anal Freaks In Heat", perhaps that MBA would be another approach. Who knows.
From the book: "The global demand for adult entertainment products and services is enormous; and companies that can bring innovative offerings to market and are able to compete at the highest levels should be able to profit regardless of the broader economic outlook."
Live the good life - Be a porn star!
Just Discovered Poweredge Skate Mag
Dropped into my local skate shop - Boarding House in Hyannis - and found a copy of Poweredge Skate Mag. I'd never seen it before, but it's got some damn good stuff in it. Nice job
Where the Fuck is Spring?
If this is the first day of Spring, someone needs to tell me where the good weather is hiding. Sure as hell isn't in New England!
Although not a real doctor, Theodor Seuss Geisel wrote some amazing books that made reading books, as a kid, burst into brilliant fun. He published over 60 children's books!
It's never too young to start skateboarding and you're never too old to read Dr. Seuss. Read to your kids - it's one of the best things you can do for them.
Chuck Taylor Skates the Moon
Flipping through the Boston Globe I saw a pic of an orange Chuck Taylor hi-top shoe and had to delve in to see what was up with one of my favorite brands. Who didn't buy a couple pairs just to mix-n-match them back in the 80's? OK, most of you kids who weren't born didn't. Anyway...
Turns out that it was an article about Massachusetts brands and mentioned in passing that Converse, makers of the Chuck Taylor All Star shoes, have a more stellar history than you may know. The first human footprints on the Moon were made by boots crafted by Converse. Who knew all those hi-tops I wore were made by a company assisting with moon boots.
Oddly I can't find any info to confirm this, but Converse did make a hi-top model called "Moon Walk". I'm wondering if someone's fact checking phase was a little short. There are references to this shoe and Michael Jackson who created the Moonwalk dance step - or whatever the fuck it's called.
The short version of this story is I dig Chuck Taylors, saw an article and then found this funky cool design that was probably released several months ago. The reverse design of the eyelets and lacing is very slick. I'm not a sneaker-freak, so this isn't the place for late breaking sneaker news. Cool shoes, though!
Skateboard Magazine Subscription Scams
When the house phone rings after 8:00 pm, I know something is up. Everyone uses my cell unless its some unscrupulous fuck-whit like the one who called last night. This chick is on the line saying she's calling from the publisher of Skateboarder Magazine.
RULE # 1: Never renew or subscribe to any magazine over the phone!
Most of the fuckos who call are NOT affiliated with the publisher - like the chick who called me. She told me the company name that would appear on my billing statement - it was not the publisher of Skateboarder. They offer a seemingly good rate, but then tell you it only applies to a 3-year renewal. Will Skateboarder Magazine be around in 3 years? Who knows. Fuck that.
These 3d party companies that try to get your subscription also deal only in credit. This means you would have to give them credit card info - bad idea. And very often there is a clause in which they automatically renew the subscription every year and just push the payment to your credit card. Again, fuck that!
In this day and age, you have to be very careful with anyone who calls you for any transaction. The other issue is these 3d party companies will issue your subscription or renewal and charge you even if you tell them "NO"! Worse still if you write cancel on the bill or don't pay, ehey are very quick to sen you to a collection agency who will charge you even more and possibly ruin your credit rating.
Subscribing to magazines has many benefits as opposed to buying single issues at the store, but you should always deal with the publisher, not some janky 3d party company you've never heard of. They will always fuck you over. Go to the source - the mag's publisher. Send in that little card and dump a $15 check in the mail. Done - no hassles.
Only ONE Pad for Women - Not Apple's iPad
A recent article in the New York Times cited women's inability to hear the word "pad" and not think about their vaginas. Fascinating. This pie-centric issue erupted after Steve Jobs announced the new Apple iPad tablet. According to the NYT article, some people think Apple was shortsighted in choosing a name that makes all women think about their vaginas.
Are women really this devoid of rationale, common sense and fixated on their vaginas? I hope not, because I have some bad news...
Pad of paper
Pad the results
Peripheral Artery Disease (PAD)
and yes, the fucking iPad!
Naturally, iTampon began to trend on Twitter and everyone passed it around as if it was the second-coming of the original Fart Joke. Maybe this is why we're in an economic recession - too many dumb-fucks.
I'm not sold on the iPad, although I think it's a bold step in a new direction that will soon come into everyday life for many of us. Nintendo managed to put a camera into GameBoy, why couldn't Apple do it? Seems like an obvious component! But, as this product matures and grows, I'm sure it will enhance aspects of our daily routines just as the iPod has. Until then, I'm holding out for the iPenisBangBangBigHurt... coming soon to a retail shelf near you and your damn vagina!
Thrasher Grip Tape
Boring grip tape is worse than only ONE thing - a kid who can't grip his own board!
It drives me crazy to see a kid in a skate shop asking if someone can grip his board for him. He didn't even buy the deck there! He
s just to lazy/stupid to do it himself. In a perfect world the shop owner would peel the backing off the grip and wrap i around the kid's head. At least he'd learn that gripping a board is easier than cutting it out of your own hair.
Back to my dislike of boring grip tape. Covering a board with black grip is fine as far as your feet are concerned, but why not put some style into it. Make a cool cut-out patters near the rear truck holes to discern front from back or add some paint-stick (or whatever you choose) art work.
Thrasher even has these swell designs that you can slap on for instant artistic gratification. See! There's no excuse for a dull black-covered deck.
Just remember that bringing these cool grip sheets to your local shop for professional adhesion will put you at the front of the line for a good beating!
As you can see, grip tape graphics have come a long way. You can tell when a technology or technique really takes hold when it's purpose is guided down the path of scantily-clad (or less) women. Our favorite path!
Ice Boat Racing
Ice boat racing is one of those things you hear about, but rarely get the chance to see first hand. Check out this video... the footage is fucking astounding!
Thrasher's Gnarly Brown Beanie
The classic yellow shirt that Charlie Brown wore is infamous to say the least. It's been replicated as a nod to Charles Schulz's Peanunts cartoon for a very long time.
However, no one has gone to the mat and really made a statement... until now. Thrasher magazine took the design of that iconic yellow shirt and made it their own, adding "Skate & Destroy", in creating a beanie - complete with tassel.
But that isn't enough. They truly outdid themselves upon calling this amazing hat the "Gnarly Brown" beanie.
Clokey and his wife Ruth invented Gumby. Since then Gumby and his horse Pokey have been a familiar presence on television, appearing in several series beginning with the "Howdy Doody Show" and later "The Adventures of Gumby." The characters enjoyed a renewal of interest in the 1980s when actor and comedian Eddie Murphy parodied Gumby in a Saturday Night Live skit. In the 1990s Gumby: The Movie was released, sparking even more interest.
Chatham MA Skate Park Weathering the Snow
Skateboarding flourishes where the weather is warm all year long. It sounds like a dream, but if you're accustomed to the seasons changing, constant summer may not be the fantasy you thought it would be. On the other hand, who wants to get out a snow shovel to skate?
In New England, winters range from mild to wild. You never know what you'll get. A large snow storm may blitz you one day and melt away the next. Lately, we've had quite a bit of lingering snow that just won't fuck off without the help of a shovel.
Retro Mt. Dew - Throwback
Having spent a fair amount of my holiday vacation playing 8-bit video games (yeah, the really old ones) with my son, I was in a mindset that would easily allow me to fall prey to anything retro... even a pepsi product.
I make no secret of my dislike of all Pepsi products. Coke rules and most Pepsi products taste like over-sugared knock-offs. Mt. Dew is the ONE exception to my "fuck Pepsi" shopping habits. Let's face it - it's a tasty product and the Dew Tour is pretty cool. Nuff said.
Imagine my surprise when I went into a convenience store to grab a drink and found this odd Dew container mixed in with the usual Mt. Dew fare. "Made with real sugar" said the label. Fancy that! Could it be that for the holiday season Pepsi won't stunt us with all the usual chemicals that go into the average carbonated beverage?
The sad fact is it didn't taste any different (like it might have tasted better from the real sugar?) and I'm sure there will be many empties available on Ebay for those who truly believe one man's trash is another man's treasure.
Happy New Year!
Don't waste a second! Get out your snow shovel (as applicable) and clear off a place to skate. If you successfully do this, you won't feel compelled to write in to one of the skate mags to bitch & moan about not having anywhere to skate in the winter.
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