Skateboard + Blog = SKLOG?
2008 Archive of Skateboard Blogs
Below is the archive of random skateboard thoughts that crossed my mind in 2008.
2008 Skate the Planet Skateboard Blog Archive
- Merry Christmas
- Happy Thanksgiving
Be thankful that more people hate Ryan Sheckler than hate you!
- Another Peculiar Helmet Option
Not long ago we brought the western cowboy hat-helmet to your attention (just in case you wanted a new reason for someone to kick your ass). In a similar effort to get people to wear helmets, here's another that doesn't look like a helmet either.
Yakkay is a company putting a new look on bike helmets. You have to admit that bike helmets are probably the dumbest looking things next to deep-sea diver's helmets. There are currently 4 models including this stylish (maybe?) bucket hat with a metal liner to keep your head intact.
So you start off with your standard helmet, and then pick the "cover" which disguises it as something less dorky than a bike helmet. The next thing I see are cops stopping cyclists and trying to cite them for not wearing helmets. Won't Officer Porky be surprised to find you wearing a metal baseball cap with a chin-strap. When you stop and think about it, very few hats can be considered "cool" if they have a chin strap. You should wear a helmet regardless. If you have to disguise your helmet, perhaps you could just use a towel to disguise your open head-wound. Food for thought...
- Skateboard Guitar Strap - Slingz
When you wanna rock-out with your cock out and go skateboarding, why not combine the two? I rarely travel without my backpack - ya gotta have enough shit with you to get through the day. It's kinda like an acceptable guy-purse where I can stash tools, clothes, food and an asortment of stuff I've forgotten to get rid of, but still carry around. And it's handy for toting my board.
Here's a cool way to ditch the excess and still keep your skate close while you're climbing a fence or stumbling through the dirt. This sling, from Slingz, lets you strap your board over your shoulder by looping the wheels in this nylon contraption. Looks pretty cool. Check it out on the Slingz web site.
Don't fret over the hottie - to the left - this isn't a chick product. Seems pretty unisex to me and they also had a pic of a dude with a Slingz, but which would you rather see? Yeah, that's what I thought.
- Sk8 Dice: A lot of Craps?
"Craps" not crap. Get it... the dice game? Anyway...
So, let's say you're involved in a game of S.K.A.T.E. and your brain slowly oozes out of your ear and you can't think of any other combo to try, whip out your flash cards... I mean Sk8 Dice. Roll a combo and see if you can pull it off.
Actually, I'm being a dick, this is an interesting way to spice up a game of SKATE - if it needs spicing. Each roll of the dice doles out the trick/combo you need to pull off. Just make sure you keep 'em in your pocket. These things will knock you on your ass as quick as loose gravel.
- Happy Halloween!
Go buy a Creature RIP Rider and tear up the night!
- AC/DC expenditure
I was stoked to hear that AC/DC is releasing another studio album after 8 years! I was even more stoked to see ads for it on TV! Who the hell has ever seen ads for a rock group on the fucking TV?
But there's a catch. There's always a catch, isn't there? The new album, Black Ice, will be sold through exclusive distribution with WalMart. Oh Fuck! I have to got to fucking ShitMart to buy this thing!?!
I've long hated box-stores like ShitMart. They seem to think (and I guess they're right) that people want to go to one sore to buy EVERYTING they will ever need. Well, fuck that. I hate ShitMart and am more likely to DL the disc rather than shop at ShitMart. And there isn't a ShitMart close to where I live.
The most disturbing factor to this whole scenario is the price. ShitMart is advertising the CD for $11.88. I haven't purchased much media advertising, but I'm fairly certain it costs a lot to advertise one CD on TV. From all this I gather that AC/DC will get shit and ShitMart will get rich. That's why ShitMart exists, right? To get rich off those who like gigantic box-stores full of low-grade merch?
Fuck ‘em, I'm buying it from the AC/DC website. At least ShitMart won't get my money! Sorry to be so negative, AC/DC totally rules!
- Hubba's 2009 Calendar
When it comes to injecting some sexual fun into skateboarding, wheel manufacturer, Hubba does it better than most. Their ad always have a half-naked chick touting the urethane virtues of their wheels. Snag one of their calendars before they all get into the hands of the masturbatory youth of the world.
- Zoo Pork: Turning 15
I don't see the correlation of these two "birthdays", but both Zoo York Skateboards and Jenna Jameson's porn career are 15 years old. Both started in 1993. but it's hard to say who's aged better or sold more compelling product.
Zoo York and Jenna are proud to announce an exclusive collaboration illustrated by The CollaBros. Limited to just 500 decks, they will be available through select skateshops only. If you don't hop on this quick, you'll miss out on your chance to grind Jenna Jameson on your favorite ledge. Who wants to miss that opportunity?
- Sanuk - Footwear Item of the Year
OK, I'm a tad late on discovering this award, but I've long been saying that these are THE most comfortable shoes I've ever worn. I own 4 pairs of Sanuk Sidewalk Surfers!
Go get yourself a pair you'll thank me later!
- Hawk at Kmart?!?
I'm still irritated by the "available at Khols" logos on Tony Hawk's clothing line, but to see a deck with "Tony Hawk" on it advertised at Kmart - that's fucked up!! And it's right next to a Bratz deck. I can't bring myself to go into the semantics of why this is so wrong, but I hope the skate community at large is smarter than this. Why would Tony Hawk have a branded board for sale at Kmart? I'm sure it's of the same quality as that Bratz deck - a piece of shit.
Click the image for the full ad.
- Orange Coast Magazine Goes to the Dogs
Rob Dyrdek's dog has his own pro model skateboard and now Tyson the skate dog (an English bulldog from Huntington Beach) winds up on the cover of Orange Coast Magazine's pet guide issue.
I'm waiting for some PETA dipshit to launch a campaign that skateboarding dogs should pad-up. Get a helmet on those K9s!
- Olympic Sk8
Its nice that the fury over skateboarding as an olympic event has died down.
- X-Games 14
Screw the suits at ESPN - the world needs more vert coverage and the X-Games are one of the few mainstream sources. PLG, Shaun White and Sandro Dias tore up that ramp. Too bad about Way's fall, but it landed him on Letterman.
- Marisa Miller Designs Vans Slip-on & Sk8-Hi Shoes
The Victoria's Secret model collaborated with Vans to create the "Vans by Marisa Miller" high top, slip-on and sandal. Perhaps this is a good marketing strategy, but these are some very generically girly shoes. Maybe that's a good thing in the realm of women's shoes, but they kinda look like crap.
Not to be too critical, but wouldn't it be good to see her wearing the fucking shoes? She designed them, so why not wear them. Maybe they don't go with that dress...
- Free Fireworks
I've never understood how stores that only sell fireworks can stay open all year round. There area couple of them in my area. Very odd retail business unless it's early summer. Who knows. I never buy any - just not my thing. And the kind folks across the pond have a huge 4th of July blast-off that lights up my yard. Thanks for the freebies... next year I want free beer too.
- Porn Star Skateboards
What a perfect melding - porn stars and skateboarding. Does it come from a pornographer who skates or a skater who digs porn? Don't know,but it's a great concept. Who wouldn't want a porn star on their skate deck? OK,maybe there are some women out there who could forgo this option, but we love it.
With an upcoming website, they already have several porn star decks to choose from. With a tagline of "Ride Your Favorite Pornstar" they seem well on their way to success. Hell, isn't porn still a billion dollar industry?
Grind your favorite adult starlet.
- Over-Priced Celebrity Alcohol
This oddity wound up in my e-mail due to my bad habit of signing up for way to many mailing lists. I seem to be on everyone's "need to know" list.
I've been a hug e KISS fan ever since listening to Destroyer at a friend's house. If you've ever watched Gene Simmons' reality show, Family Jewels, then you're aware that Gene's business sense is to provoke any and every entity on the planet to slap "Kiss" onto their brand. I guess if you ask enough people, some are bound to say Yes.
I'm all for a glass of wine now and then - or every night - and as a Kiss fan I'm tempted to buy a bottle of my favorite band. However, I draw the line at $80 per bottle. I'm more of a $12 per bottle kind of guy. Not being a wine aficionado I can't attest to the quality of Kiss wine - also I've never had any - but can you imagine that this swill is really worth $80? And that's for the cheap stuff.
If I'm gonna rock & all night, I can't blow all my money on booze! C'mon Gene, you've got enough money. Go enjoy some of it.
- Vans Demos Wellfleet Skate Park
Our little spot on the beach was again ravaged by a real skate company. Vans did a demo at the Wellfleet skate park in Wellfleet, MA this afternoon. I busted out of work early to check out the scene. Habitat rolled through here last October, so I was super stoked to see another pro team blow through.
They arrived in a big tour bus with the "Off The Wall" logo plastered al over it. Unlike the Habitat demo, Vans set up tables and gave out t-shirts, hats, stickers and hot dogs while the team did the demo.I felt a little out of it... not knowing any of the dudes that were riding for them. Maybe I need to pay more attention to those skate mags I subscribe to.
There was a god vibe in the air and a couple of their guys really killed the place. We had some of our local guys there from Boardinghouse in Hyannis. It was a hell of a lot of fun and I hope more teams will make the trek out to Cape Cod.
- Fill ‘R Up!
I wish I lived in a town where I could skate from place to place and leave my car at home...
Today I paid $4.01 per gallon for gas (low-octane, the cheap crap). The news media is in a frenzy trying to dish out energy conservation tips. Thats super, but why isn't anyone addressing the REASON gas prices are insane?!?
There's no shortage of gas. There's no increased demand. Still the price is skyrocketing artificially and padding the pockets of the oil companies. By the way... the US government is subsidizing these same oil companies. Oil companies are price-gouging and making billion dollar profits, so why the fuck are they being subsidized?!?
I'm all for living green, conservation and all that stuff, but the Bush administration has robbed and fucked-over the American public for 8 years and the fallout will be with us for a long time.
Next time I'm thinking of blowing some money at my local skate shop, I'm going to have to figure in how much it'll cost to fucking drive there. Same goes for getting to my local skate parks.
- Cowboys Sacrifice Style to Combat Skateboarding's Anti-helmet Attitude
Find me a picture of a pro skater wearing a helmet and I'll bet you $50 its a pic of Tony Hawk. No one wears a helmet when they skate. They should, but it seems the cool-factor outweighs the utility of a healthy skull.
Troxel Helmets come to the rescue offering a melding the style of a western cowboy hat with the utility of a helmet. Now you can giddyap to your favorite skate park or spot and grind the gnar knowing your head will remain intact. Of course there's no way to know how badly you'll be beaten by fellow skaters who think your helmet-hat is... well, below standards.
Want more info on this atrocious cowboy helmet?
- Free Shipping?
Everyone loves something for nothing - aka: FREE. On the other hand it's said that, "There's no such thing as a free lunch." Enter CCS skateboard mail order...
I received an e-mail from them saying they missed me (Awwwww, how fucking sweet). In fact they missed me so much they wanted to offer me free shipping on my next order. "Sweet", I though since shipping is usually around $10. Or so I thought. Getting back to that non-existent "free lunch" I mentioned, apparently there's no such thing as free shipping either. OK, to be fair they did give me free shipping, but then they tacked on $1,50 for "handling". Wtf!
That must cover the cost of the hand-job they gave me to entice me to place another order. Always support your local skate shop!
- Happy Mother's Day!
Take your Mom to the skatepark today - she deserves a good time for a change.
- Fill'r Up
I'd love for someone to explain to me why our government subsidizes oil companies that are making billion dollar profits as the price-per-barrel rises above $120. Didn't Bush start his war to protect our oil supply (and make a shitload of money for himself and friends)? Today I paid $3.75 per gallon for the cheap shit! What the hell is going on?!? Food prices are rising too. Who the fuck can afford to live here? I'd skate to work if it weren't so damn far away.
Going "green" may be the way to go, but that costs even MORE.
- A Little Bit of "SK8" at the NY Comic Con
Aside from the usual nerds who incessantly discuss the benefits of various super-powers (girls now exist in this clique), there were a few exhibitors that used skateboard decks for their artwork.
I found 3 vendors on the floor who had cover art from their latest comic releases stenciled on decks. If you're down with the art and want a one-of-a-kind piece of skart, it's a sweet deal at $100 each. I opted for the budget-conscious route knowing that a hotdog and soda would run $15 and I still had to travel home - I left with 2 bags of swag and a few meager purchases of books that looked interesting. And a newfound appreciation for short skirts and mohawks.
More from the New York Comic Convention »
- Bend Over - The Taxman Is Here To Screw You
What could be better on a Spring-like day in April than being bent over and fucked by the U.S. Taxman? Hell, nothing!!
Every year the middle class works hard so the government can steal an exorbitant portion of our earning to fund such endeavors as maintaining fake wars, subsidizing billion dollar oil companies and ruining the healthcare & financial industries.
I hope all you morons who voted TWICE for George Bush (our uneducated, drug-addled Head of State) are pleased with yourselves. I'm not sure if a great skate session could even push away the despair of another 4 years of Republican rule.
- She Skates? Resurgence of the Spiraling Girl's Market
Last summer CCS (the mail order company) started a catalog for girls. As one would expect, they didn't seem to know much about girls and skateboarding. Yeah, it was supposedly a skate catalog. It consisted mainly of pink shirts and any skate hardgoods with a similar color scheme.
At the start all their printed catalogs and e-mails featured girls in bikinis. I'm down with that, but what's the connection to skateboarding. Then they had the bikini-clad chicks holding skateboards. Nice try - no sale. Finally, they realized that girls don't wear bikinis when skating and probably don't want to buy a new bikini from a skateboard retailer. Hence, their ads continued minus the t&a. A blow to the guys reading their catalog.
Today, along comes this little hottie in an e-mail from Active Mailorder touting a free towel offer with bikini purchase. I guess the free towel will come in handy when she's all sweaty from skating around in her new bikini. There has to be some connection to skateboarding, right? (give her a click to for the full article)
Let's face facts, this chick has never set foot on a board and probably doesn't even know this ad is for a skateboard mail order company. Don't get me wrong, she's cute and can ride my ramp any day, but this sort of ad sends a really bad message to girls. This image currently comes up on the Active Mailorder Girl site.
Are girls who skate supposed to go buy a bikini or heap on the right makeup to look like this woman? Skateboarding is about skateboarding and retailers who want to build up a girl's market shouldn't dilute their skate brand with bikinis and skirts. If they can make a buck - cool. But don't think that this woman offers any iconic value to skateboarding.
- Don't Believe the Hype
Face it. Without a doubt one of your friends will contact you today with some alarming news, freak you out and then yell, "April Fools!"
Beat ‘em to the punch and call them first... "Hey dude, the town is closing the skate park... and your car's on fire!"
- Party Hardy... but Tony ain't coming
From six-year-old kids who want Tony Haw to come to their birthday party to nineteen-year-old frat-boys who want Jenna Jameson to come to their drunken booze-fest... I have bad news. It ain't gonna happen. Celebrities have better things to do unless you have Cancer, then they might show up briefly.
Now that I think about it I'd love to have Tony AND Jenna come to my next birthday party. So anyway...
If you're a skater and you can't get over the Birdman ditching your apple-bobbing clown-infested birthday party, do the next best thing. Ensure that every item at your party is festooned with "Tony Hawk" crap. How does that happen, you ask? Order up the Boom Boom HuckJam Party Pack containing: 8 dinner plates, cups, forks, spoons, activity placemats, 16 napkins, solid-color tablecover, centerpiece, mylar balloon, 24 balloons (2 colors), crepe paper rolls (2 colors), curling ribbon (2 colors), confetti, cake candles and thank-you notes.
You can even got the extra distance and get the Boom Boom HuckJam Favor Boxes containing: assorted glow stick, Pop Rocks candy, laser spinner, Boom Boom HuckJam sticker sheet, skateboard keychain and tattoo.
After such an event, how many fucking friends do you think you'll have? I'm guessing zero (unless you're under the age of 6). Plan carefully or you're going to look like an idiot. And here's a tip for parents: Don't surprise your fourteen-year-old son with a Boom Boom pack of any of this crap. His friends will turn violent and wreck your house. Be age appropriate, not moronic.
- Publicity for Skeightfast Dyephun
Victor Giannini, creator of the skateboard comic Skeightfast Dyephun, has asked me to do publicity for his comic. The goal is to get it into the hands of every living (dead's OK too) human (or mutant). If you don't own it... get off your ass and place an order. You'll thank me later - it's that good!
- Paddle the flats?
The folks at Kahuna Creations have taken the "stand-up paddling" concept from the waters of Hawaii and adapted it for longboarding on land. They're calling it The Big Stick.
From the Kahuna website... "The idea is to paddle the same way you would a stand-up paddle in the ocean, with long, full strokes. Not only does the Kahuna Big Stick provide a great upper body and cardio workout, it helps save the knees and feet from the constant kick of pushing a longboard. Kicking for long periods of time could put stress on the ankle, whereas upper-body-powered paddling is a great workout, and doesn't wear you out nearly as fast, which ultimately allows a longer, more enjoyable ride."
The question remains, will skaters want to "paddle" as opposed to push their longboards. I can see a number of advantages to "paddling" the flats, but the price is a bit steep for my taste - my feet are free. It's about the same price as an inexpensive longboard. On the other hand it looks like a cool idea that might be fun and will certainly garner interest and comments from those who see you paddle by.
It could also be used as a lance. Once you're up to speed, give someone a nice hard jab with it.
- Happy New Year
Start the year off right. Make a resolution then forget them over a few beers.
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