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Wine: The Anti-beer

We don't condone or promote underage drinking. If you're under the legal drinking age, why not go pour yourself a nice tall glass of Jolt Cola.

When was the last time you and your crew wrapped up a pool sesh with a chilled glass of Chardonnay? Not too recently, if at all. Beer seems to have a rougher persona - more fitting to skaters. Wine might be better enjoyed after a round of croquette.

On the other hand, skateboarding isn't about conformity or following expected paths. It's about individuality, bucking the trend and giving the finger to popular expectation. So, lets flip-off the brews for a moment and explore the snobbish culture of wine - cheap wine, that is.

Perception

Kendal Jackson wine bottle

Wine has a bad rap when it comes to perception. You buy a case of Old Milwaukee beer and each and every can will taste the same - year in, year out. Consistency prevails. Grapes, from which wine is made, change and are effected by all sorts of factors from location to weather. No one is going to sit around discussing a particularly good case of Old Milwaukee - there's no point. It's all the same. Wine has variations and wine snobs enjoy sitting around in navy-blue blazers pontificating about certain vintages and such.

As a beer drinker, you're more likely to be sitting around farting and talking about sex (no blazer or sport coat required). Such behavior is often looked down upon by those who think they're sophisticated, superior and/or ultra-cultured. Their main problem is they don't realize that farts are FUNNY and sex is awesome. You can't rip one out and not smirk at least a little bit... as long as you don't shart or do so during sex.

Alcoholic Content

Beer typically has between 3% - 8% alcohol by volume whereas wine has between 10% - 15%. In short this means you don't need to drink as much wine to get the same effect (buzz and then some) that you would get from beer. This also results in fewer trips to the bathroom - or the neighbor's bushes - and less garbage and clean-up to deal with later.

The Cheap Stuff

Here are some of my favorites that come in 1.5 liter (Magnum) sizes for under $10.

Alcoholic t-shirt design

Dare to be different, buy a bottle of wine and tell your indifferent friends to get tanked elsewhere.

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