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Post-Skateboarding Scarfing Material Recipe

Cheeseburger Crackhouse Pie

Piss-off Ronald McDonald and make your own cheeseburger concoction that's healthier than anything the Grimace would scarf. Remember - pie isn't just a dessert, it's a style. Anyone who says different is a liar. So, forget the buns and whip up a cheeseburger... pie-style. The total cooking time is 25 minutes and serves 4.


  • 1 lb. of ground beef, turkey or meat of choice
  • ½ cup of Bisquick® mix (Ya know, the pancake mix).
  • 1 onion
  • ½ teaspoon of salt
  • 1 cup of shredded cheese (buy it shredded or grate your own)
  • 1 cup of milk
  • 2 eggs

Other Stuff You'll Need

  • 9-inch oven-safe pie plate
  • Pan for cooking chicken
  • Electric (or hand) mixer
  • Mixing bowl


  1. Chop up onion into small pieces.
  2. Cook ground beef (meat of choice) on stove at medium heat for about 5 minutes.
  3. Add chopped onion to pan of meat de jour and cook for another 5 minutes or until meat is cooked.
  4. Add Bisquick®, salt, eggs and milk to mixing bowl. Mix, on low, until blended (about a minute)
  5. Grease or spray the pie plate so stuff won't stick to it.
  6. Drain disgusting fluids from pan of meat and dump it into the pie plate. Spread evenly.
  7. Toss contents of mixing bowl all over the meat.
  8. Add cheese to the top. You can also mix the cheese in the mixing bowl to get it all over - your choice.
  9. Call a friend's mom and make panting noises into the phone, then ask to speak to your friend (unless he/she is the one you're cooking for).


  • Heat oven to 400°
  • Cook for 25 minutes or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean... not covered in meaty-cheesy gunk.
  • Serve.

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