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The Oscars 2006 - Skateboarding Gets Robbed Again

Oscar sk8 statue

There's really no good reason to watch award shows, especially the Oscars. Do the best films win? Do the best actors and actresses win?

No!

Actually, I usually fall asleep about 10 minutes into these things and wake up wishing I'd skipped the whole thing and watched a sk8 video instead. Speaking of which, why aren't skateboard films ever given any recognition? I think it's time that the fossils behind the Academy Awards get with the program and recognize the importance of skateboard media.


If Skateboarding Invaded the Academy Awards

And the real winners are...

Award Went to... Should Have Been..
Best Picture The Departed Bag of Suck
Best Director Pan's Labyrinth Mark Gonzales: Krooked Kronichles
Best Actor Forest Whitaker Deawon Song
Best Actor in a Supporting Role Alan Arkin Mike Vallely
Best Actress Helen Mirran Elissa Steamer
Best Actress in a Supporting Role Jennifer Hudson Lynz Adams Hawkins
Best Cinematography Pan's Labyrinth 1st & Hope
Best Animated Feature Happy Feet Boom Boom Sabotage
Best Short Film (animated) The Danish Poet Ed Templeton's work: Suffer the Joy
Best Film Editing The Departed Cheese & Crackers
Best Visual Effects The Departed Thrasher's Shotgun
Best Short Film (live action) West Bank Story Rob & Big
Best Documentary Feature An Inconvenient Truth Rising Son
Best Documentary Short Subject The Blood Of Yingzhou District Drive: Notes From the Wilderness
Best Costume Design Marie Antoinette Hillbilly Dream Tour
Best Music An Inconvenient Truth Bleed For Me

The lesser known (or cared about) awards...

Award Went to... Should Have Been..
Best Dressed Penelope Cruz Jim Greco
Worst Dressed Nicole Kidman Lizzard King

It'll never happen, but I think skateboard media should be acknowledged at a higher level and The Oscars should be lampooned.

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