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Non-Skate Ads » The insanity of sponsorship gone awry

The other day I was drinking a Mt. Dew, checking the time on my Nixon watch and talking to my therapist on my Boost Mobile cell phone. All of a sudden I fell off my skateboard and broke my head wide open. In a fit of confusion about my accident (while blood seeped from my dome), it occurred to me; maybe I'm not a real skater. Perhaps I'm just a lifeless idiot who buys any product they see in skate magazines. Cuz ya gotta be "sk8", dude.

It never ceases to amaze me when I see ads in skate mags for products that have no impact or purpose in skateboarding. What's the point - creating a fake-buzz around a product to expand its purchasing base? I'll admit that soda (or 'pop' as some mid-westerners seem to call it), cell phones and watches are all useful items to have, but isn't there a line that should be drawn somewhere?

Advertisers will try to foist their wares on anyone with money to spend, but that doesn't mean that Alpo should advertise their dog food as ̴The skater's choice for feeding their dogs". I love seeing how far this concept advances with each new issue of any sk8 mag.

I'd never knock the pros who are sponsored (aka: paid) by these companies or the magazines who rely on them for advertising revenue. I'm just not sure what to think of the moron-consumers who want a new watch because Bob Burnquist is wearing one. Are you kidding me?!? But it must be working - the ads keep appearing.

As always I'm torn - in a hypocritical sort of way - over my lunatic passion for downing Mt. Dew products, but I don't associate them with skating. After a hardcore session, water is the only way to go (no Skateraid either!!). Does anyone respect Pepsi because Mt. Dew sponsors skateboarding? I don't ever think about these sort of associations. I find I'm busy with other things... like skating!

I don't know about you, but the last thing I want bobbling around on my wrist or waist is a watch or cell phone. One good slam and that's the end of that - time to buy a new one. Wait... maybe that's the angle. If you skate with expensive electronics, maybe you'll smash ‘em and go buy a new one.

Sponsorships I'd Like to See

Tony Alva
Sponsored by Toro Weed Whackers - Everyone needs to trim the tall grass next to an abandoned pool. What better way to clear a path to an all day pool session than a Toro Weed Whacker?
Steve Caballero
Sponsored by Honda Generators - Don't drain that pool with buckets - get a real pump going and power it with Honda.
Danny Way
Sponsored by Home Depot - The Mega-ramp would not have been possible without low-grade lumber from America's premiere vendor of misshapen twisted lumber, Home Depot.
Bam Margera
Sponsored by BMW Pre-Owned Vehicles - If you're planning on using the hood of a car as a launch ramp or simply want to have a driveway demolition derby, do it in style with a pre-owned car from Bavarian Motor Works.
Vanessa Torres
Sponsored by Playtex - Roar through your next demo knowing that Playtex has your white pants covered.

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