Skateboarding Articles
Barbie Skate-Video Girl: Your Slutty Skate-Film Intern
September 27, 2010
Let's face it you're not Spielberg or Stacy Peralta, but that doesn't mean you can't make a high quality skateboard film. You just need the right tools... and Mattel Toys has your back on this one.
Barbie has entered a new era. No longer is she a submissive play toy for Ken and his beach-bum buddies.
She's evolved into a techno Terminator packed full of everything needed to make a kick-ass skate video. From camera and software to portable power and PC connectivity, Barbie takes the labor out of filming skate videos leaving you to be the star.
With a camera between her breasts, a USB port in her butt, batteries in her thighs and a video screen on her back- Barbie's the all-in-one solution for filming all your glorious bails at your local skate park.
You'll love spreading her legs to open the battery compartments in her inner thighs almost as much as connecting her USB butt-port to your computer. Once she's turned on, it's skate time! Position her toward the action and her breast-cam will document the pillaging of your healthcare deductible. Dragging your face across concrete will be the envy of YouTube.
Skate filmers & photographers are always put in harms way. They don't get those dope angles by hiding behind a fence. They have to lay on the stairs under that handrail or hang precariously over the edge of a half pipe in order to get the shots that stoke the mind's idea of what is possible on a skateboard.
Once you damage a $2,500 camera or take a skate to the face, after the rider bails, you'll have a newfound respect for skateboard filmers and photographers. Let Barbie Skate-Video Girl take the wood to the nose. Even if it knocks her head off, she'll still keep filming for you.
Barbie Skate-Video Girl Tech
Inside that sexy frame is all the tech you need to pull off the next incarnation of Bones Brigade vids.
She's your invincible director who's always on the watch as her body fills with 256MB of raw skate footy. She'll put out for 75 minutes on a set of batteries, ensuring a 25 minute capacity of 320 x 240 resolution video, all viewable on her 65,000 color capable back-screen. That's my kind of girl and don't forget she looks good doing it.
You can always steal new outfits from your little sister to jazz up Barbie for the next big day of shooting at Skeeter's backyard ramp. Be careful not to spill beer on her. Barbie freaks (and fizzles spastically) when she gets doused in alcohol.
Secret Breast-Cam
Everyone gets nervous "on camera". It makes you feel like the whole world might see you do something embarrassing. On the other hand, every guy likes to impress a pretty girl. Barbie Skate-Video Girl is just the solution.
On the exterior, she's just another girl slutting around the skate park trolling for the next Tony Hawk. Forget she's capturing your every move inside her torso. Just skate hard and try to make the pretty girl cheer you on. She may even be willing to take you behind the skate-shack for some riding of her own. Ok, she's only 11 inches high - whatever!
Who hasn't heard a woman say, "Hey, my eyes are UP HERE"?
Mattel wants you to think Barbie's camera is cleverly disguised as a necklace, but we're all savvy to camera nestled between that little minx's breasts. So next time you get busted for checking out some cleavage, you can always say you thought you saw a camera.
Now you have no excuse but to purchase Barbie Skate-Video Girl for your next skate vid. She's hot and techie. Skate or die, bitch!
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